All my life, I have plotted my course and planned ahead. Some things worked out, while other ideas fell flat. My other half spent his life soaking in the moments.
I guess both plans would have worked out so much better had we spent more than the past five years together. Part of me is very frustrated that we didn't somehow make it work rather than split back in 1978. I imagine had we stayed together, all the hard work would be done by now--the planning, the fixing, the blending of families.
But as he pointed out a couple of years ago--to my great dismay--you got what you got.
We're still working out the fine points. I have two daughters from an 18 year marriage and he has a son from a 20 year divorce. There are sharp contrasts in our children, (aged 21, 22 & 23) which is to be expected given the differences in parenting styles and family experiences.
I'm reminded of something my mother repeated often during my youth. "Experience is hard teacher, but it sticks with you."