then did the old-school ritual of collecting bows
from packages to make the bride a hat. Lovely, isn't it?
Face it, kids are always looking to their parents for direction and / or guidance.
I remember when she confronted me with her first dose of life's disappointments. She was so angry I hadn't warned her. I was blatantly honest when I explained that, had I been privy to a roadmap to life, I would have used it myself.
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home and start feeling better each day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for high school: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby.
You spend your last nine months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap, and then....You finish off as an orgasm.