After spending most of Saturday discussing the meaning of life with my other half, I ran into an old friend of my Mother's who summarized it quite beautifully: You don't have to always be the boss.
She was actually making reference to how she has racked up 43 years of marriage. (My parents have been married 53, but that's another story altogether.)
I imagine it has a bit more to do with trust, than anything. If you're not the boss, then you have to able to trust the judgement of the person who IS boss. That may be where the struggle comes in.
My daughters are the boss of them-- One 22 today (Happy Birthday Jessica!) and the other 20. They have young men in their lives who are learning what "sharing a life" is all about. Now that is wonderful.
I keep telling my 70-year old mother that Dad is "not the boss of her." Some days he is, other days he hasn't a chance.
What a relief! If I'm not always the boss, then I am not always responsible. That takes a real load off. I might actually have the time now for myself that I've heard is necessary for my sense of well-being. Maybe work on my belly pooch, stray eyebrows and pesky dry skin.
"I've been pretty vain most of my adult life. Before that I was acutely and embarrassingly aware of my exceptional unattractiveness. Now I consider both attitudes a big waste of time---and when I think about it, two sides of the same coin: vanity and self-absorption. I've decided to get over it. I think it's working."
http://mucholderthanu.blogspot.com/
