Friday, February 20

Turnabout Is Fair Play

I'm still struggling with C++.

I think it may be because I want to use the index rather than reading the text. I'm programmed for shortcuts.

There is no shortcut for programming, I'm afraid.

I was in the midst of this when the youngest called late this afternoon. She sensed the tension in my voice immediately and inquired.

I let it all out. I told her hold this programming class was killing me. I told her how I had fears that this class may do me in and I may not graduate. I told her I just had too much on my plate right now. I was stressed and wasn't sleeping well. I suggested I was pulling a "Jeni" and reminded her of how she had shared the very same apprehensions during her last semester of school.

She laughed-- a deep (knowing) belly laugh.

She then proceeded to relate her memories of her last semester in school and how stressed she had been. She reminisced about how she just knew that being so close to graduation, there would be one prerequisite that she hadn't met-- and she would find out too late! She reminded me of our "brink of disaster" late-night conversations.

She then said she would be "mom"for a minute. She suggested I run a hot bath and soak. Or perhaps I just needed to put school on the back burner for the evening and have a glass of wine and chill. Or better yet, maybe I needed a dose of Rescue Remedy.

These instructions were followed by another deep belly laugh.

I'm not slow... I understood completely what was happening, as quickly as it occurred. But rather be distressed by the role reversal, I'm really quite thrilled.

How nice it is to have your children looking after you.

Saturday, February 14

Broaden Your Mind

I've decided to tackle my demons head on.

I began this good read at the hairdresser's yesterday. I feel better. I'm not sure whether the book should get all the credit, though.

Realizing the power of a good read, I gave JB this book for Valentine's Day.

I appealed to his inner geek and got him a technical manual!

This book has just hit the shelves and is a fabulous find for mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. It's written by best selling author, Gregory Lang and you should get yours now for Mother's Day. It'll make you weep. It'll make you laugh out loud. It will touch your heart.

This'll have to wait a bit longer to hit the shelves.

Pop turned 75 on Thursday and is busy writing his memoirs.
It's still a work in progress.

Thursday, February 5

439 Times in 3 Years

Today is my blogoversary--and I nearly forgot. It took a commenter wishing me a "Happy Blogoversary" to remind me.

I've been too preoccupied with Cisco's WAN exploration class and trying to learn C++ programming via a web class. The stress of the workload is getting to me.

I took a hot shower this morning and tried to decide whether it was stress, lack of yoga, or if I was having a heart attack and just didn't understand the warning signs. I figured I better clean up and fix up just in case it was a heart attack.

JB came home midday to find me all weepy debugging a C++ program. Those of you who understand this language may find my reaction quite silly. But those of you who have no earthly idea about C++, would probably empathize.

After my eyes had leaked sufficiently into my floral handkerchief, I managed to correct 30 errors. I have no idea how--and of course part of the assignment is to document how.

This entire episode reminded me of my Jeni when she was just a little girl. She often practiced piano through tears--pushing herself to the limits of her ability. She played well, but seemed intent on torturing herself by taking on projects meant for more accomplished players. But in the end, she was always victorious.

In middle school, the city-girl daughter made herself physically ill maintaining her high grade point average--as if to do well was not enough, she had to be the best. She was first chair cello in the school orchestra and the Philharmonic Youth Orchestra, and a top-ranked tennis player in the state at the age of 14.

I guess sometimes you just have to find out just what you can do.

I invite you to check out my first blog post, written 3 years ago today. The advice given to me by one of my daughters three years ago still rings true.

But, first I have to get through this semester of school...