Thursday, June 5

Do You See What I See?

I've posted before about how each individual's perception can create an entirely different version of reality. I'm still sold on this idea. I believe it to be truth.

I remember being viewed as a desirable young thing until the day I brought home a baby. From that point forward, I was a mama--and we all know there's nothing like a baby on your hip to put you in an entirely different class on the "hot" scale.

But when you make a choice to be a mother, none of that stuff is important anymore anyway. The choice of motherhood involves having had enough of being preoccupied with your outward appearance, and striving for more important pursuits--like creating a human being and sharing the world as you know it with someone who's interested.

The connection between mother and child is like none other. They may not get along all the time. They may not even like each other all the time. But the connection is always there.

And in the end, you always have each other.

I watched a lot of old movies that profess the same thing of marriage. I'm not seeing it though. I would love to be wrong about this one.

Miss Jessica has a longtime friend in Texas that has been calling quite frequently to get confirmation on her daily wedding plans. They were more than a little put out when I compared a wedding to Thanksgiving dinner--all that planning and its over in 20 minutes.

I'm thinking more preparation should go into planning the marriage, rather than the wedding.

Share your thoughts and sway me, please.


jenontheedge said...

I'm with you. The marriage is more important than the ceremony. And I felt that way 17 years ago when I was planning my own wedding.

cce said...

Now, if I could do my life over, I'd invest in a good marriage counselor BEFORE the vows. If only, if only, if only. Kids and eleven years later and we've got a lot of untangling knots to do. If we'd only been wiser when we started out. All this and our wedding was gorgeous, beautiful, the stuff of movies. You are sooo right, it's just a party, the marriage thing is the rest of your freakin' life which has nothing to do with good champagne and table arrangements. Good luck to you convincing a young bride of this though.

TEOM said...

If only we all weren't so YOUNG when we marry.

What IS that thing anyway?

KathyR said...

Whatever it is, it's freaking me out.

That goes for marriage, too.

I don't know how much or how well you can plan for keeping a marriage together. Some people can handle the ups and downs and still hold it together. Some can't. Some need to get rid of a partner who causes the "downs" part of the ups and downs.

But what do I know? I've only been married once.

Anne said...

I like kathyr's comments. Commitment is a big deal. It has nothing to do with the wedding. Relationships are hard and they don't guarantee happiness. I do agree with you about children. I could always use my son's name in my passwords for signons etc... i tried using my husbands name in my password signon and i changed it after three days. Seems like i am always aggravated by him (why didn't i pick up on this years ago... i know why..that was rhetorical). I think i share your hmm is it cynicism (sp?). I also think i am your age. That says alot.