My Women's Cult

I remember one day, back in my previous life, I got an invitation on the mail to visit with a group of women during one of their regularly scheduled meetings. Someone had recommended I'd be a good candidate for membership to this group. To this day, that someone is still a mystery.
At any rate, I went. I visited... and the rest is ancient history.
This photo was taken the last time we all got together back in 2003. I had travelled back to Texas for my youngest daughter's graduation from high school and that mischievious redhead (second from left on the back row) graciously put me up for two days. I remember we had dinner out one night (Gossip Night, I think they called it) and I got to catch one of the lunch meetings while I was in town also.
I miss them.
Small group, but all females. We really got together as often as possible and had such a good time just being female. We were do gooders too, though.
One such instance, we all had a day at a Habitat for Humanity all-female home build. That day, Ann had to slip out early because she had an appointment with her manicurist (first one on right, bottom row). I had my first (and only) experience putting in insulation that day.
Each year at Christmas we adopted a single-parent family and provided wrapped gifts for each family member. The year I divorced my husband of 18 years, I was tasked with delivering a trunkload of gifts to the chosen family. Looking back, I wonder if they all got together and decided it was just "my turn."
My youngest daughter, Jeni, is the one that deemed this group my "women's cult." Whatever it was, it helped me celebrate being me.

Everyone Deserves a Blue Day

No matter how wonderful things seem, a little rain must fall to keep us on our toes.
We're moving along, seemingly making progress, and them two or three situations may hit us all at once... and BOOM! we have a bona fide pity party before it's all said and done.
It's all too easy to lose sight of progress if there's a few consecutive bumps in the road to rattle you out of gear. I had a day like that today.
I had some individual with his underwear (or her panties?) in a knot today, giving me crap I really didn't have the patience to deal with effectively. (It's an ebay thing.) I run a little short on patience most days anyway. Most folks, it seems today, want everything for absolutely nothing. When they find it's not possible, they blame the first individual in sight.
Then I had my youngest call from the school bookstore needing an authorization in excess of $400 for books for this semester. Let me interject: I am so proud of her. She is a junior this year and is damn near starving to death while trying to get her education. But see, my pity party had already started so I ignored her needs and focused on my own. I needed attention. I wanted her to tell me soemthing wonderful... like maybe she missed her Mom or some equally self-absorbed bullshit... Needless to say, that conversation did not go well. I inadvertently added stress to an already stressed-out kid. (I DID call back and apologize profusely!)
I went to the pharmacy to get my "crazy pills" (hormones) refilled. That went well, I think. They are going to call my doctor for a refill. What sane man will NOT refill a menopausal woman's hormones????
By the time my other half arrived, my eyes were leaking. He asked me what was wrong with genuine concern.
He then summed it up, just as he always does: "I go out and work and bust my ass everyday. I can't be coming home to a balling woman. This is bullshit. You need to get your act together."
I know it sounds a bit crass... but he's right.
We have three children between us. None together. One in school, one self-sufficient and one we're working to get that way. It could be worse for sure.
Bottom line: We all are responsible for our happiness. But for some odd reason, we think it's up to everyone else to make us happy and in turn, we think we are responsible for the happiness of everyone we hold dear.
Moral of the story: Deal with it. Do the best with what you have to work with...

Who Were You?

Who were you before you were you?

You see, we're all shaped by our environment-- whether we are willing to admit it or not. For more on this: visit http://www.monday9am.tv/fotw/play.

I could get high upon a soapbox about how children are influenced by the environment their parents produce. Geez! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look around at some of the folks we encounter on a day to day basis and get a good notion what their childhood was all about!

It doesn't end there, though. Every experience, every encounter creates a wrinkle in the fabric of our lives. Some wrinkles end up permanent creases and others a damn big ole hole.

All is not lost, though. Maybe the fabric is just in need of repair. Shake it out, patch the holes, straighten out the wrinkles as best you can. Maybe get a bit crazy and add an applique or two.

Or as my other half says: "Make chicken salad out of chicken shit."

Squashville

Ah the joys of being a southern lady! You swap vegetables with friends and relatives.

I have an abundance!
I'm not complaining (or trying not to--I keep thinking of those people who don't have).
I am just trying to keep up. I've gotten very creative. Did a bit of research and found new and different things for cucumber.
I found a recipe in a Southern Living cookbook that is quite wonderful. I have found that Southern Living will never let you down. Anyway it's a cucumber sandwich recipe. Now, don't go turning your nose up until you try this---it's wonderful tasting and very light and refreshing.

2 packets Ranch dressing mix
1 8 oz tub of spreadable Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Miz these two items up really well. Then use this as the spread on whole wheat bread. Thinly slice cucumbers and onions. Crunchy, fresh and tasty.

I also have a cucumber spread that is great on crackers. Grate cucumbers (2 medium). Then mix with a couple of diced onions and 8 ounces of Philadelphia Cream cheese. Add Lowry's Seasoned Pepper. Chill.
If you want to get real fancy, you can put little cucumber wedges on your crackers, once spread.

I spent 20 years of my life in West Texas, so the surplus of tomatoes, peppers and onions are turned into Pico De Gallo.

But--I would love to have some new recipe for yellow squash!

Here's a little gardening humor:

All that Energy and No Direction

I was reminded earlier this week, quite by accident, how important is to set boundaries and to appreciate the boundaries of others.
I have a relative that comes to visit quite often. Maybe too often. I've been coming up with all kinds of ways to drop subtle hints to let him know that a day to myself would be great. I have to remember that it is ultimately up to me to set those boundaries--and enforce them.

I introduced him to my neighbor. Now he has another stop on his list and less time at my house.

People only do what we allow them, right? (I tell my Mother this all the time and she gets a bit put out with me, I think).

It's too easy to spend all our energy getting upset, rather than using that energy in a more positive manner -- perhaps to focus on what we CAN change in an effort to alter the upsetting situation.

"You're not the boss of me."

After spending most of Saturday discussing the meaning of life with my other half, I ran into an old friend of my Mother's who summarized it quite beautifully: You don't have to always be the boss.
She was actually making reference to how she has racked up 43 years of marriage. (My parents have been married 53, but that's another story altogether.)
I imagine it has a bit more to do with trust, than anything. If you're not the boss, then you have to able to trust the judgement of the person who IS boss. That may be where the struggle comes in.
My daughters are the boss of them-- One 22 today (Happy Birthday Jessica!) and the other 20. They have young men in their lives who are learning what "sharing a life" is all about. Now that is wonderful.
I keep telling my 70-year old mother that Dad is "not the boss of her." Some days he is, other days he hasn't a chance.

What a relief! If I'm not always the boss, then I am not always responsible. That takes a real load off. I might actually have the time now for myself that I've heard is necessary for my sense of well-being. Maybe work on my belly pooch, stray eyebrows and pesky dry skin.

"I've been pretty vain most of my adult life. Before that I was acutely and embarrassingly aware of my exceptional unattractiveness. Now I consider both attitudes a big waste of time---and when I think about it, two sides of the same coin: vanity and self-absorption. I've decided to get over it. I think it's working."

http://mucholderthanu.blogspot.com/

The More Things Change...

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've posted! But I am happy to report I now have two working hands again.
Well, more like one and 85-90% of the other, but I'm not complaining.
I can thank my cut and dry, no-nonsense other half for my recovery. He pointed out that I really should quit my job. So I did.
Funny thing, the surgeon and the hand therapist were very pleased to hear I had quit my sit-in-front-of-the-keyboard-job, but neither had the balls to suggest I just might recover more quickly and perhaps prevent further damage until AFTER I had quit. I thought I was paying them to work in my best interest!!
No matter. I am happy to be able to dig and plant and cook and sew.
And I love my other half even more.

Learning Patience

I had a friend once tell me that God will give you an opportunity to learn patience. If you don't take advantage of that opportunity, it's okay--He'll give you another.
I'm hoping that won't be necessary.

I am learning to live with one hand (more like, trying to live with one hand). All the things I truly enjoy require two-- cooking, sewing, gardening, etc.
Looking at this whole situation from a different angle, I'm thinking perhaps God's intention was to divert my attention away from my daily "busy work."
I enjoyed a visit from my daughter this week filled with candid conversations and long embraces. She was a tremendous help to me in both a physical and emotional capacity. The best part is when we pile up on the couch to watch movies, all hugged up together, just like when she was a little girl.
This carpal tunnel surgery may have very well been intended a "smell-the-roses" injury.

Getting Better All The Time

Today marks the one week point for me and my carpal tunnel surgery. I'm still in pull-on pants as zippers and buttons prove to be too much of a challenge.
I am sucked down more than my share of Diet Pepsi and cigarettes... and have confirmed what I always knew--there is absolutely nothing on daytime TV!
I have managed to learn to type one-handed, and load and unload the dishwasher and fold clothes!
Everything takes much longer. Is this yet another lesson in patience??
Here's some photos of my view of the world:


My garden:


Blue enjoying his morning nap:


Thomas stretching out



I'm going to drive today: I am running low on Diet Pepsi and cigarettes.

On The Mend

I am recovering from carpal tunnel surgery done Monday Afternoon (May1). I am bored to tears and medicated.
This is the view from my bedroom window. It is killing me because I am one-handed and can't work in the yard.
I am really very lucky I share this place with a long-legged broad-shouldered handsome man.
I think I'll nap now...

Lets all be EXX-Customers!

I came across this on the web today: "ExxonSecrets.org takes a look at the folks who claim that global warming (and presumably global dimming) either still aren't proven or don't exist: the spokespersons, the organizations with whom they're affiliated, and most especially the organizations funding their efforts. Whatever lots of sunlight is doing to the planet, the more of it shining on the wellsprings of such information, the better. "
I don't know about you, but I am climbing aboard. I hope you will join me in being an "EXX Customer" of Exxon and Esso. See this site for more info: http://www.dontbuyexxonmobil.org/

The Great Outdoors

This photo was shot April 2nd while walking the property line with my uncle. I came across this tree and thought it so unusual. It 's very reminiscent of staring at clouds to see what unfolds, don't you think?

I always enjoy my time at home, especially outdoors. This 26 acres provides space for many a fantasy. In five years, we've moved fences twice, opening up a 5-6 acre yard. The other half mows... and mows... and mows. Then he walks around the house like a rooster, admiring the yard from every window.

I plant and prune and move rocks.
This year I've started my tomato plants from seeds. I have a pot of 6 I need to separate.
I have a bit of the rooster syndrome too, I think. I make it a priority to plant the majority of things so they are visible from one of the many windows inside the house.

I've been battling a bit of the dreaded carpal tunnel with all its delights and tests, and as a result, neglected my blog. In fact, today is the first day I've checked my email in 3 days! I don't know what has come over me.
I have an hour commute to work each day. Time spent darting in and out of traffic and eyeballing the side and rearview mirrors for state troopers. I listen to the radio and use the windshield time to ponder over the meaning of life. I used to play catch up--returning phone calls and making appointments--but the dreaded "CT" puts too much pinch on the elbow area. So I think. And analyze. And replay life's moments in my head.

I don't play the "what if" game anymore. I'm thankful I have realized this is a waste of time. I find that I worry less and try to take life for what it is--day to day.

The Land of Misfit Dogs

We've accumulated quite of few puppy dogs in the past 3 or 4 years. I brought two from Texas, my other half had one, and we've added two in the past 4 years. Each dog has its own little, minor imperfection that we accept, acknowledge and deal with daily.
Mr. Haji (left) has a personality disorder: he thinks he's a bad ass big dog.
He lives outside with the big dogs because he lacks the formal training and/ or social graces to be underfoot inside. He can be the sweetest little thing, wagging his tail so hard you think he's going to take off at any minute. Then, the next minte there will be a gnashing of teeth and growling very reminiscent of a wild animal. I can't imagine what events shaped his personality to make him this defensive!

Life is Good!

Rushing, rushing, rushing. There never seems to be enough time.
Prioritizing as opposed to procrastinating is my rule of today. I'll be sure and let you know how that one works out.

I am so encouraged by my new ventures! They are providing a wonderful (or should I say "Marvelous?") avenue for my creative energy. And so much fun, too! Please check them out... I welcome your comments and/or suggestions.


http://www.cafepress.com/mizmellonline


I am still learning and so very thankful I still have the ability to do so.

The Last Rodeo

Yesterday my parents celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary. I'm in awe. I'm on my third round -- something my husband I deemed "the last rodeo" (his third, as well) before we tied the knot.
So, do you think that's what makes it work?
My parents got married at a young age. That's just the way it was done then. Mama was 16 and Dad was 19. I think they have suffered through the ups and downs of matrimony. Can't remember any big trouble, though. I haven't made the mistake of asking my mother that one -- she might tell me something that would shatter the illusion I have of her and Dad.
Sometimes they bicker like siblings, other times like best friends -- trying to get the best of one another. What I like is that they are there for one another. Both are vocal in their opinions and the other (pretends to?) listen.
My parents have separate bedrooms. I'm not quite sure what brought that on, although Mama says Dad snores and flops around in sleep. I guess this is just another example of how they identified a problem and resolved it together.
Which brings me to my point today: Marriage is a commitment, a promise to one another to always "be there" physically and emotionally.
It seems too often nowadays, when things get a bit uncomfortable, folks just want to run away.
I'm taking the bull by the horns on a day to day basis and I guess my other half might be the rodeo clown, providing the much needed diversion from the serious business of life.

Perception is Reality

I am noticing more and more than spring is indeed coming after all. The flip flop from cold to warm has tested my patience. So much, that I had gotten to the point I just gave up... accepting the cold and dealing with it.
Last weekend, I had hope for better days. I planted 6 bleeding hearts at the top of the drive. The weather was warm with just a bit of coolness still in the wind. I kept the thought of those beautiful blooms greeting me every time I turned down the driveway and got through the digging and moving of rocks.
This morning the sun is shining -- teasing me into thinking the weather is warm. When I went out to fill the bird feeders, I realized I had been tricked again.

Miracles

There are two ways to live your life:
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is though everything is a miracle.

I am now among the hard core REAL believers having recently experienced the power of prayer. Not just my prayer, mind you, but the result of a group effort. Its amazing. I had been praying for some time. But only when I asked others, did the changes start to unfold.
Remember: Only a fool will turn away help!

The quote at the beginning of this post can be attributed to Albert Einsten. It makes reference to attitude more than miracles, I think, but I wanted to share my miracle with you.

Attitude makes a HUGE difference. An optomist will live longer than a pessimist and will probably have fewer wrinkles as well. To live fully, one must have faith and hope in the outcome of any given situation. Oh, it's very easy to say. It's a bit more difficult to actually do. That's where the prayer comes in. Ask God to help you. Remind yourself that everything is in God's hands and trust Him. You may at times question his judgement. That's where the faith comes in. But, I assure you, His plan is bigger than we ever imagined.

My Hut is on Fire...

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?"

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal,"they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Many thanks to my Uncle (VirginiaBoy) for his email. He too, must have seen the smoke!

Footprints

We all walk around within the numbness of our habits and routines so often that we take the marvels of ordinary life for granted.

We had a wonderful snow this past weekend and what tickled me most about it was seeing the footprints on the hillside made by our dogs... a random pattern of circles and curliques with no real apparent destination. My dogs, like myself, probably had a thought... a plan... but somehow got sidetracked by something of interest along the way.

Tread Lightly

There is so much irony in life. The first thoroughly accurate cliche' that comes to mind is this one:
Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it.

I am sure many read that line and immediately identify! But, also remember, it's not up to you and I. The outcome is predetermined and we are just players of the script that has been outlined for us. Just a damn shame we can't sneak a peek to better prepare us for the next chapter, right?

Well, I don't know about you folks, but I'm hangin pretty well. I even have fun with it. Each pothole in the road teaches me to watch my step. Each hill (or mountain) reminds me to utilize those deep breathing techniques I learned a hundred years ago in Lamaze class. The view from the top of the hill ain't so bad either.