Thursday, August 9

More or (less) Hormones

The hot flashes are becoming less frequent. I think I'm going to be okay.
But, just to show that I do have a sense of humor about the whole thing, I am sharing a different perspective.

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all he has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life into his own hands.
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker, or significant other.

Ultra Safe:

What's for dinner?

Can I help you
with dinner?

Where would you like to go for dinner?

Here, have
some wine.

Are you
wearing that?

Wow, you sure look good in brown!

Wow! Look at you!

Here, have some wine.

What are you

so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?

You know,
there are lots of apples left.

Can I get you
a piece of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

did you do
all day?

I hope you
didn't over-do it

I've always loved you
in that robe!

Here, have some wine.

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Swing
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweats
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Pack My Stuff
12. Potential Murder Suspect


slouching mom said...

oh that's rich.

Jennifer said...

Hang in there!

LisaBinDaCity said...

Very, very funny! Especially the wine part :-)

I'm glad you are starting to feel better.

blackbird said...

hmmm, I think we are in the same boat.

Here, have some wine...

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You can claim that as your favorite, but you really know it is Pardon My Sobbing. Poor baby.

Ms. Annie D said...

For me, it doesn't matter what time of the month it is, when the man in my life asks, "What's for dinner," he's taking a risk.

So much nicer when he just comes on over and starts helping!

Sorry you're flashin', honey.

At least you can still say that you're HOT.

goldennib said...

Very funny.

PMS also stands for Pissy Male Syndrome. Men get it too; D