Tuesday, September 4

You Take The High Road, I'm All For Middle Ground.

I watched a clip on Christine's blog, and it made me start thinking about how we idolize perfection in relationships. Is perfection possible when men and women have such opposing viewpoints?

The middle ground is the desired goal--not perfection. Take it from someone who is on marriage number three.

The best I can recollect, marriage number one was done primarily to satisfy the family. Now, I'm not naming names or pointing fingers, but I was raised to believe that having a husband was one of the steps on the path to adulthood.

I was 20 or so when it happened, and remember distinctly how I had a gut feeling just seconds before I walked down the aisle.

But I quickly brushed it aside and went on. The marriage lasted 9 months.

I usually just try to ignore any reference at this point and just act like it never happened.

Marriage number two was the one that satisfied the next notch on the bedpost of life--a long marriage and children. It lasted 18 years and provided the maximum motherhood and wife experience.

Opposing viewpoints and morals burst that bubble.

And then I started all over again when I married JB, number three.

We had dated as teens and had the big blow up that made us part ways in 1978.

But somehow, 1400 miles apart and 23 years later, we meet again.

I'm about 6 years into this one, deemed the last rodeo by both us, before we married.

"Come grow old with me" is what sticks out in my memory as part of his proposal.

I understood these words as an unspoken acceptance of what may lie ahead.

A willingness to take things as they come and to work together.

And isn't working together the middle ground?


Jennifer said...

How sweet!

Christine said...

my mom is now married to a boy she went to high school with. she is so happy.

i loved this post. "come grow old withme" the perfect proposal. perfect.

slouching mom said...

what a lovely photo of lovely girl-you!

the end of motherhood said...

Of only we all paid attention to those gut instincts! But hey, all those steps got you where you are today, which sounds like exactly where you want to be.

Anne said...

Sounds like you faced some difficult times. The last sounds lovely.

KathyR said...

My husband is multiply married. He's my first, although I was previously engaged. Anyhow, I told my husband that I would be his widow before I would be his next ex-wife. He hasn't divorced me yet. 15+ years so far.

I'd rather eat a bug than hook up with my high school boyfriend. JB musta been special.