Wasted Days & Wasted Nights

The fat cat has distorted my sofa permanently. Weighing in at 20 pounds, he spends his days nuzzling the catnip and his evenings wheezing on the couch.

(Seems this is not uncommon among cat owners. See Imperatix for her story.)

Easter Monday or HAPPY DAY

I was often teased that I'd use any excuse to celebrate. I guess it's the "Pollyanna" in me (let's find a reason to be happy).

When you have small children in the home, you relish the giggles and smiles. You want them to be happy, so you spend the largest majority of your time and energy preoccupied with that concept. I remember once making a "Happy Day" cake for my girls, with the full understanding that sometimes you just can't wait for the next birthday.

I feel like my two daughters should have quite a few good childhood memories, and a varied assortment of family traditions. My own childhood memories and family traditions still provide a wealth of information for me... good feelings, points to ponder and amusement.. like that groovy Easter pic yesterday.

I don't know how they plan to use all this information, but I have faith they will figure that out. When they were growing up, our family time was consumed with all things adolescent girls deem life sustaining... the sleepovers, band and orchestra concerts, tennis and softball, ballet and jazz.... I was counting on raising well-rounded thinking young women.

See, that's the thing. We always hope that we have provided enough information, afforded enough opportunities, established the best morals and integrity...

That's how you show gratitude for the gift of a child, right?

Have A Groovy Easter

Yep, that's me in the middle. Judging by the look of delight on my face, I'm guessing I'm the only one who still believed in the Easter Bunny.

The Winds of Change

Here's one of my "big dogs" adapting to the cold wind.

She's usually sprawled out on the hillside looking like she's just killed over for her morning nap.

Yesterday, when Mother Nature decided to trade our 80 degree temps for something closer to 45, Lucky felt more inclined to take shelter from the wind behind the remnants of a stump.

The Chicken

I have been asked by many for this quick and tasty chicken marinade. It's the only one I have ever found that transforms "yard bird" into a tantalizing treat. You can't mess it up. No matter how you cook it after using this marinade--which takes all of 20 minutes or so--doesn't matter! It always comes out wonderful. (but it is especially good grilled!)

Chicken Marinade:
8 Tbsp olive oil
8 Tbsp soy sauce
4 Tbsp lemon juice
2 Tbsp brown sugar
2 cloves garlic, minced or whole
2 tsp thyme
3 whole cloves
dash pepper

Put all ingredients into a bowl large enough to accommodate about 2 pounds chicken.

We're Celebrating At My House

No new recipes (but I have a few good ones in reserve, if you're interested). We dined on leftover meatloaf. I was just too damn pre-occupied with leftover situations from the weekend and beyond to delve into the cookbooks for something more exciting. Sorry.

I have a wonderful Southern Living meatloaf recipe (which rivals my other half's mother--although that was never my intent!) and I'd be more then happy to share. I just never thought of meatloaf as something special. It's more like a "what's at the bottom of the heap" recipe.

I'd much rather have something with some real flavor. Plus, with all I've read lately, I really don't feel good about any recipe that calls for red meat. I think I'd much rather have some brain food (fish). I'm ready for some Shrrimp Scampi or a shrimp stir-fry with a dab of my pear honey.

Anyway, I decorated for Easter.

The other half could care less, but--he'll work around it, if it makes me happy.

This little chickie ensemble used to take Jeni Rae days to get arranged just right.

Why Ask Why?

We enjoyed a dinner of Taco Stufffed Pasta Shells last night while watching back-to-back episodes of house makeover shows. What is it about these shows that provide so much interest for women?

What I should be asking is why is a comfortable home so important to women when it is obvious that most husbands could survive (and be happy) in a tent?

I see this as yet another example of God's sense of humor.

A Wonderful Smell

A house that smells of good things cooking is a happy home. It's just promotes good karma.

These berry-filled spice muffins not only fill your kitchen with the scent of cinnamon, they look and taste wonderful.




Blueberry Spice Muffins

1 3/4 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 egg, lightly beaten
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

Topping:
1 Tablespoon sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon

In a bowl, combine the dry ingredients. Combine egg and milk. Add egg mixture nd melted butter to dry ingredients; stir just until moistened. Fold in blueberries.
Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full. Combine the topping ingredients; sprinkle over batter. Bake at 400 for 16-20 minutes. Cool 5 minutes before removing from pan.

Accountabililty

Ben Franklin was on to something when he said, "Neither a borrower, nor a lender be."

I know I'm reaching the point in my life where middle age creeps into old age. My opinions are a bit more steadfast, but I am trying to remain objective and open-minded... but what happened to good old-fashioned common courtesy and accountability???

This lack is running rampant! I'm almost to the point where I will never loan anything again. Loan means I get it back. The borrower must return it--in the same condition--as when it was loaned. The main idea though, is that the item is returned.

Since I have moved back to Virginia, I have found that I must go pick up items that have been borrowed. Sometimes, there is even a question in the borrower's mind as to whether it was a gift or a loan! As I write this, I know what must be done.

I am developing a "do not loan to" list. No need in making the honest folks suffer.

PC Hell

The road to hell is paved with good intentions--at least that's what my other half says. I'm beginning to think he's got something there.

I am in PC Hell because--with good intentions--I decided to add RAM to our poor old, tired PC. We work it so hard that it's tongue has been hanging out for some time. Rather than accept the additional RAM though, it just said the hell with it and went belly up.

I have found a marvelous local fellow who builds to order. I have the new PC in place and have been in the process of reloading and re-installing EVERYTHING for the past 24 hours.

I am trying to keep the faith.

The REAL Secret

Yesterday I had an absolutely marvelous day. It didn't start that way, but I was hell bent on having a good day so I rolled with the flow. I acted like all the worries and insecurities of the world just didn't exist AT ALL.

I thought I'd try this approach to life based on some surprising information shared by two members of my women's circle. These sixty-ish ladies plow through life with their own agenda, oblivious to daily upsets. They had no problem sharing their secret--I had to ask!

It appears you should have fun in life and do what makes you happy. And the key to a successful marriage is food and sex. Sounds so simple… why hadn't I thought of that?

I might occasionally get distracted by those three 20-something children we have whose lives I cannot make perfect. That individual up the road that is hell-bent on being the social coordinator and Queen of Unsolicited Advice might be crowding me a bit, too. Well, yesterday I let all that go.

I started planning dinner at about noon or so. I gave my other half the needed attention (he called it "spontaneous combustion") and went out to trim the hedges ignoring the fact that I have no hedgetrimers. Piss on it--I can do just fine with my clippers.

I cleared out the garden when my other half fired up the tiller and said he would run it, if I cleared the garden out. I played "gopher" and fetched the tools he asked for--enjoying the walk up the hill, back to the house--maybe 3 times. I dutifully sat on the hillside and watched my other half cut down a big ass dead tree. (I don't understand that one, but for some reason, a wife is needed to watch these things.)

I pulled off a apple bourbon pork roast and some Cajun roasted potatoes, despite the fact there were five or six young men in their 20s playing VERY LOUD MUSIC in the studio. I pulled it off so well, they didn't even realize we had had dinner! I have found that young men are like strays… if you feed them, they will never go home.

I did break that last rule when my stepson (soon to be 24!) mentioned he had not eaten anything all day and was looking a bit faint. I gave him the old analogy about gasoline and cars and how food is the fuel your body must have to keep going. I hope he listened and understood. Then I served up cheese and crackers and hot beef dip. After he and a friend inhaled ALL OF IT, along with a pitcher of lemonade, while standing over the island in the kitchen, they left. That's when I was struck with the reality of what those two wise women had told me….

Men really only need two things to be utterly, completely happy: food and sex.

Absolutely, Positively

The persistence of negativity is a constant in human life. Just when you think everything is fine--up it will pop again-- sprouting through some crack in the pavement of day to day living. Garden-variety lies and deceit are the most common and persistent, but should be rooted out just as diligently.

You must be resolved against negativity - whether in your social or professional life, or in your own soul. In either case, definite rules must be followed for the struggle to succeed.

The first rule: Do not attempt to compromise with evil. Negative actions must be identified openly for just what they are, and immediately discredited.

The second: You cannot resist negativity on its own terms. New, positive alternatives which lead away from the source of the problem are generally more successful and appropriate, than to counter negativity with raw power.

The third rule: The means used to counter negativity must be consistent with the end to be achieved. You can't stop the bad behavior with knee-jerk responses. Take a breath and think before you react.

I tend to think of negativity in terms of weeds in the garden... Weeds are inevitable. But with preparation and planning, you can keep them at bay, ensuring growth of the good things you had planned.

Happy Anniversary Momo & Pop

54 years today! How did you do it?
(Note to Momo or Pop: Click the "comment" area and (type) share your secret with the internet!)

Sweet N' Sour Ham Balls

I made these ham balls, week before last, when hunting for something different for my Friday night get-together. Wish I had had the good sense to photograph the finished product! I always try to find something quick and easy to make with existing ingredients. I managed to make good use of ham left from Christmas that I had cubed and frozen. I substituted Jimmy Dean Maple flavored breakfast sausage for the ground pork.

Pineapple, brown sugar and spicy brown mustard combine to create a tangy sauce for these savory ham and pork appetizers.

4 eggs, lightly beaten
1 medium onion, chopped
1-1/2 cup Pepperidge Farms bread crumbs
2 pounds ground ham
1 pound ground pork (or sausage)
2 cans (8 ounces each) crushed pineapple
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup French's Spicy Brown Mustard
2 tablespoons cider vinegar

In a bowl, combine the eggs, onions and bread crumbs. Crumble the meat over this mixture and mix well. Shape into 1/2 inch balls. Place in two greased 13X9X2 inch baking dishes.

In a blender or food processor, combine the pineapple, brown sugar, mustard and vinegar; cover and process until smooth. Pour over ham balls. (May freeze for up to 2 months! Or) Bake, uncovered at 350 for 45-50 minutes, basting occasionally with sauce.

To bake frozen ham balls: Completely thaw in frig. Bake as directed.

Yield: 2 batches of about 30 ham balls each.

So, Sew

I took on this project without even knowing! When you sew, and folks know you sew, you get all sorts of projects--without even asking or being asked.

Normally, this project wouldn't have been so tiring. My hands don't work like they did 20 years ago (computers!) and the fabric was a bit too slippery for my patience.

But it's done!

The upside, other than the obvious, is that I have an urge to do something else. Any hobby's greatest benefit is the mental stimulation that comes from being focused completely on the task at hand and letting all other thoughts go completely.





Here's some "little britches" I made for my great nephew, Albert
The material is leftover fabric and remnants from Christmas pajamas.

You Got What You Got

All my life, I have plotted my course and planned ahead. Some things worked out, while other ideas fell flat. My other half spent his life soaking in the moments.

I guess both plans would have worked out so much better had we spent more than the past five years together. Part of me is very frustrated that we didn't somehow make it work rather than split back in 1978. I imagine had we stayed together, all the hard work would be done by now--the planning, the fixing, the blending of families.

But as he pointed out a couple of years ago--to my great dismay--you got what you got.

We're still working out the fine points. I have two daughters from an 18 year marriage and he has a son from a 20 year divorce. There are sharp contrasts in our children, (aged 21, 22 & 23) which is to be expected given the differences in parenting styles and family experiences.

I'm reminded of something my mother repeated often during my youth. "Experience is hard teacher, but it sticks with you."

Forever Young

Recent research has determined that dogs have the mentality of an average 2-year-old, according to a report released on the Today show yesterday. I can see that.

In fact, this information has given me an entire new appreciation of my dog, Blue.

His understanding of the English language is limited to a few words that create instantaneous physical reactions... and he does seem to think "it's all about him" and what he wants, when he wants it. Sounds like a small child to me!

Sad thing is, he'll never progress beyond that point. Do you thing that's one of the reasons people have dogs? I mean, our children grow up and move on--but the dog, he might grow bigger, but he never moves out. Perhaps this is our way on holding on to that childhood innocence and adoration we got hooked on when our kids were preschoolers.

I know, I know. I have a tendency to over-analyze.

Life is All About Choices

This is just too good NOT to share it.

The Blue Thong Society is the alter-ego of the Red Hat Society. Do yourself a favor and take a look.

I have toyed with the idea of a hat, but I think part of me still believes that wearing a hat has something to do with baldness and I'm not sure I want to deal with all that.

I don't do thongs--can't deal with it (unless its a shoe!) I do like the idea of "no visible panty lines" and have spent a large portion of my life fighting that dilemma.

I just LOVE choices!!

Feta Bruschetta

Here's my latest find for my Friday evening get-togethers. Quick, easy and very few ingredients.

1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup olive oil
10 slices French bread ( 1 inch thick)
1 pkg (4 ounces) crumbled feta cheese
2 to 3 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon basil
1 large tomato, diced

In a bowl, combine butter and oil. Brush onto both sides of bread. Place on baking sheet and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned.

Combine feta cheese, garlic and basil. Sprinkle over toast. Top with tomato. Bake 8-10 minutes or longer, until heated thoroughly. Serve warm.

How about some Shrooms?

My other half and I spend every Friday evenings with friends. We all bring appetizers so no one has to go to any real trouble and we can all just enjoy each other. This keeps it fun and trouble free.

This recipe I'm sharing is meant to be an appetizer, but everytime I make these, we end making a meal of them.

Marvelous alone or serve with other appetizers to wow friends at get-togethers... best of all, only 4 ingredients!

Stuffed Mushrooms

1 lb large mushrooms
1 lb hot Italian sausage
1 bunch green onions
1 8-0z pkg cream cheese

Pull stems from mushrooms; may reserve for another use. Cook sausage in skillet until done; drain and crumble. Return to pan. Add chopped green onions and cream cheese. Cook over low heat until cheese melts.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stuff mushroom caps with mixture. Place on cookie sheet or baking pan. Cook for 20 minutes.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Trust your gut instincts and you'll never go wrong. If something just doesn't feel right, it generally isn't right.

Always pay attention to those red flags your mind throws at you.

Apple Sour Cream Coffee Cake

I'm always on the lookout for quick recipes that look and taste like you have slaved away. Here's one that takes just 3 apples and makes two coffee cakes. Delicious!

Apple Coffee Cake

1/2 cup butter flavored Crisco
1-cup sugar
2 eggs
1-teaspoon vanilla
2-cups flour
1-cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1-3/4 to 2 cups chopped peeled apples

Topping:
3/4 cup brown sugar
1-teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons cold butter
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

In a mix bowl, cream shortening and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla; mix well. Add flour to the creamed mixture, alternately with sour cream. Stir in apples. Transfer to two greased 8-inch square baking dishes. For topping, combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Cut in butter until crumbly. Stir in nuts; sprinkle over batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean.

May be frozen up to six months: thaw in refrigerator overnight.

Makes 2 coffee cakes. 6-9 servings each.

The Boomers' Kids

I tell you what, the internet sure is a wealth of information. All this time I hadn't really classified myself as a Boomer, but as it turns out, I am.

Also, I thought my 20 something children were Generation X. Wrong again--they're Generation Y.

Based on what I've read about Generation Y as a group, looks like I'm not the only whose parenting techniques are coming under scrutiny.

No matter. I'm the eternal Pollyanna... I have hope.

It's never too late to change your path. Just get off the smooth surface and on to the path with the bumps and potholes.

We're All In this Together

We all like to think we are an island--but, I'd definitely have to say "no."

No matter what you do, it has the domino thingey going and affects oh so many that were never a thought in your mind when you're moving right along a breakneck speed doing whatever it is you feel you MUST do.

I've been having a bit of a midlife-empty nest weekend. All those thoughts filled with "should've" and "could've." But it is what it is and I have read (and tend to agree) that you may never be able to enjoy the present if you live in the past.

What is it about human nature that makes us analyze the past in hopes we'll uncover some new tidbit of information that will suddenly enable us to make sense of it all?

Bend So You Don't Break

I remember it was a warm evening for February. I drove with the windows down all the way through town, and under the underpass near the railroad tracks--the same underpass that was notorious for catching trucks whose drivers weren't thinking about the height of their vehicles until it was suddenly too late.

My roommate, Angela, and I drove out of town and on to the winding gravel side roads… I don't recall--now some 30 years later--much else except that I wrecked my car. I knocked down a few trees and went through a fence. I think the windshield was busted, the roof and a door was caved in and the car had to be towed.

I think we were probably both just limber enough that evening to avoid injury.

The police came, no tickets were issued and no ambulances were called. A friend of my came by in the midst of all this and gave us a ride to my boyfriend's house.

I know that it took 3 or 4 weeks to repair my car. During that time, I borrowed my boyfriend's car and/or van to get back and forth to my job at the local newspaper.

I asked my mother, just this morning, what she recalled about this particular incident. She said she knew alcohol must have been involved because Angela and I were always drinking and getting into things.

I don't recall having that conversation, 30 years ago. I asked her--point blank--did she say anything to that effect, when I had the accident.

"No," she said. "Because it wouldn't have made any difference."

Repair The Road

I have mentioned this theory I have about the real life space time continuum (versus the one in the Back To The Future movies) and folks look at me like I have 3 heads.

I believe our children are destined to experience much of the same, or similar, instances of our life. Also, with that same thinking in mind--we are destined to experience much of the same trials and tribulations that our parents did.

Now the trick here is--armed with this information--we must alter the space time continuum so that our children can be spared some of the unpleasantness; the heartache, the pain, the grief.

I don't believe there's much we can do about the spilled milk... what has happened has already happened. The path has been laid and they'll just have to deal with what's ahead and we will have to suffer because of what has already been done (sort of like Global Warming).

But... we can change things from this point forward so the path will improve...

Once More... With Feeling

I figured it out!!

My remedial training is male menopause--or manopause, if you want to be all politically correct.

I divorced my girls' father during his manopause. I reacted to his weirdness, decided I wanted no part of it, and fast as my little feet could carry me--moved on. And in all the time since then, whenever the issue is brought up, I just shake my head and sigh--remembering all that happened before, during and after.

I guess I didn't learn anything from the experience. I didn't want to... didn't take the time. In fact, it never crossed my mind to be a part of it!! No matter, because God has seen fit to present male manopause in all its glory, one more time.

My other half, Husband Number Three is turning 50 in the spring. What makes it so difficult is he just realized he's not 20 anymore, within the past year or so.

I know midlife is a shocker. And I sympathize-- and empathize! Instead of the girly existence I had grown so comfortable with, I now know I am middle age. I can feel it in my knees and hands. I can see it when I look in the mirror. It's a battle of hair removal and moisturizer.

I have come to understand my menopause --I'm in my 4th year. If what I've been reading is correct, I'm on the downhill slope. (Woohoo!) So, thank you God, for giving me a bit of experience under my belt with my menopause, before giving me the remedial training with manopause.

And I'm going to put all I have into being just a little more patient, and just a bit more understanding, because I really don't want any more remedial training.

Southwestern Spuds

3 medium potatoes

Salt and pepper, to taste

1 cup ( 4 oz) shredded cheddar cheese

1 cup ( 4 oz) pepper jack cheese

3 green onions, chopped

1 can (2.25 ounces) slice black olives

Sour cream and salsa, optional

Pierce potatoes, place on microwave safe plate on high for 8-10 minutes or until almost tender. Cool slightly; cut into 1/8 inch slices.

Arrange half of potatoes in a greased microwave safe 9-inch pie plate. Season with sale and pepper. Sprinkle with half of cheese. Repeat layer. Top with onions and olives.

Microwave, uncovered for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted and potatoes are tender. Serve with sour cream and salsa.

Yield: 4- 6 servings.

Taco Stuffed Pasta Shells

2 lbs ground beef

2 envelopes Taco seasoning

1 8 oz pkg cream cheese, cubed

24 uncooked, jumbo pasta shells

1/4 cup butter, melted

For the Casserole:

1 cup salsa

1 cup Taco sauce

1 cup ( 4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

1 cup ( 4 ounces) Monterey Jack cheese

1-1/2 cup crushed tortilla chips

Serve with: 1 cup ( 8 ounces) sour cream & 3 green onions, chopped.

1. In skillet, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink. Drain. Add Taco seasoning; prepare according to package directions. Add cream cheese; cover and simmer for 5-10 minutes or until melted. Transfer to bowl and chill.

2. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Gently toss with butter.

3. Spoon salsa into a greased 9-inch square baking dish. Fill each shell with about 3 tablespoons of meat mixture. (what won't fit into your dish can be frozen for up to 3 months!)

4. Top with taco sauce. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

5. Uncover and sprinkle with cheeses and chips. Bake 15 minutes longer, uncovered. Serve with sour cream and onions.

Later, To use frozen shells: Thaw in frig for 24 hours (shells will still be partially frozen). Place salsa in greased baking dish, add shells and taco sauce. Cover and bake at 350 for 40 minutes. Uncover, continue as above.

Let's Try Something New...

Creative pursuits keep us mentally challenged and as relatives have pointed out many, many times "Idle hands are the devil's playground." (Is it idle hands or idle minds? I guess either could invite disaster).

I've taken to trying new recipes and have found the most marvelous Taco Stuffed Pasta Shells and Southwestern Spuds. Since I left Texas, I have yet to find good Mexican or Tex-Mex food. You have to try this recipe. I'll post it later today with a photo...

I'm also still working on a 4-tiered prairie skirt for my other half's elderly aunt. She kept the pattern for 7 years or so, along with 2 pieces of crushed velvet. The pattern is out of print and has been looked at so many times, the envelope is as thick as Webster's dictionary. The pattern must also be altered to fit her and I am just anal enough to be the one to do it properly. I am pushing myself to get the damn thing completed!

My father has expressed an interest in Ebay. He has a digital camera and a PC, and I have faith he will do well... I have agreed to "teach him to fish."

And today, the first signs of spring... sunshine! And with it, the promise of warmer temps and opportunities to dig in the yard.

Round Two

You see the way he's looking at me?

I know. I know. Human nature makes us believe if we ignore things they will go away. But we all know that never works.

If we sweep it under the rug, eventually we'll trip over the big fat lump and fall flat on out face. I've tripped once or twice and now the lump in the rug is really getting very annoying.

Problems do not go away. They must be addressed... worked through and resolved. Damnit!

My Mama always says there's no appreciation if you don't have to work hard for it. Nothing comes easily.

I've come to believe that God will give you an opportunity to learn, and if you don't get it, he'll give you another opportunity. With that thought, it would be wise to get it first go round, if possible. I guess I'm just not as wise as I once thought... or maybe just a little more human.

Roadtrip!

This single word can either create squeals of anticipation or the moaning and groaning of dread.

I'm sure when Ms. Astronaut was planning her roadtrip, it made perfect sense and was carefully planned.

I look forward to hearing just what prompted her to chase after a woman who may have been involved with a man that she is somewhat involved with...

Also, how do you think she feels about her trip--and her well-laid plans-- now that it's all said and done.

Hindsight inevitably affords us the opportunity to view events from a fresh perspective.

Have You No Shame?

One year ago yesterday, I started this blog. In honor of this milestone, I'm sharing a bit more...
my cafepress shop.

The tees are not getting the rave reviews I had anticipated, but I'm having fun.

Find these and more at http://www.cafepress.com/mizmellonline

Round & Round We Go

Life changes quickly. So quickly, that often we don't realize it until after it's done.

I vaguely remember a Tarot card some 5 years ago that warned my current course would alter life as I then knew it. Well, life at that particular time was too full of lawyers and courtrooms, so I welcomed the change.

Five years later, I'm 1400 miles away from the two single most important things in my life… the two things that can make or break my day… my girls.

They opted to stay with their Dad. Nice looking fellow, who could fool even the best into thinking he's an okay guy. He's good company for an evening or two, but not a "long-haul" type of guy. Over time, I have come to realize his real worth was as a sperm donor .

Unforunately, my daughters still have hope that one day they will wake up and he will be that Dad they had hoped he would be along.

I believe in the "what goes around, comes around" concept. That's why the most satisfying interaction with my ex-husband is imaginary.

Besides, I'd rather continue the relationship I started with my daughters the day they were born... the mother-daughter bond that endures.

It bends, may get twisted at times, but never ever breaks.

Coming of Age

Happy 21st birthday Miss Jeni.

Avoiding Heartburn

Windshield time really is a blessing. If you're alone, you can talk to yourself. Yes, this is a good thing. It always helps to verbalize. If you have a traveling companion, you have the gift of uninterrupted conversation.

Yesterday I ventured out with packages and coerced my 70 year old mother into the Saturn for the 26 mile ride to the nearest Fed Ex location. The ride includeds blurbs from childhood, marriage and employment... random thoughts expressed honestly as they came to mind... giggles and rants.

I listen. Each trip provides a bit more insight into what is involved in a 53 year marriage. What works. What simply is not tolerated. How siblings turn into a silent support system as we mature.

It's hard for me to associate age with either of my parents. My other half points out that it may be because I have difficulty associating myself with the present number indicating my current age. Age is just a number.

I detest stereotypes... and the narrow-minded thinking that comes with it. People are like good meals-- meant to be savored and appreciated for their unique flavor.

Sleeping With The Memory

I took a ride with my other half the other day because he wanted to show me something. I became interested when he suggested I bring the camera.

I enjoy sharing landscape photographs with old friends in Texas. I love it when they're envious of the Virginia landscape. The twists and turns of the road provide constant visual stimulation--to say the least!--and the mountains seem to wrap around like a protective barrier.

My daughters have come to appreciate certain aspects of a change of scenery. Old and familiar offers no challenge. Life becomes a drudgery. Bad habits creep in and days run together. Before long, there is no time.

People make time for what is important. Or like my other half philosophies, "People do what they want to do." Maybe the tough part is figuring out what you want to do... or not playing out the many "what ifs" in your head.

Just keep moving. Do something. Then at the end of the day, you can rest peacefully with your memories.

Do You See What I See?

I'm am stilll dealing with the fact that my children have returned to their respective homes and I cannot see them daily...

Truth be told, it will probably be at least 4 0r 5 months before I can hug either one. Bearing that in mind, I will share this thought from DailyOM.com

Uncover Your True Face
Underneath the Mask

Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.

Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.

Saving My Money For Cheap Wine

(I'm passing along an amusing antecdote... sent to me from my sis.

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady, swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed.
"She's my old girlfriend. I hear she took to drinking right after we split up many years ago,--and she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

Note to my Texas attachments:

Plans are finally in the works for a Virginia Women's Circle!

The Path Ahead

A Ray of Sushine

According to urban legend, two people looking at the same glass can see something entirely different.

As much as we’ve heard this, it’s still a fine example of how our perspective can mar or enhance or day to day living.

Some folks will refer to themselves as postive or optimistic, while other as quick to confess they are "realists..." as if being one way or the other was a permanent characteristic!

The fact remains that we are all capable of changing our perception if we simply make the effort.

Take a Stand

The Big Stinky Dog is Inside

"A person can run for years but sooner or later he has to take a stand in the place which, for better or worse, he calls home, do what he can to change things there. "
~ Paule Marshall

On Holiday

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... "

We realize this more during the holiday season--especially during the aftermath of the wild rush that is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Interaction with in-laws and out-laws and relatives can wear you out. Everyone sleeps hard during the holidays... when they finally sleep.

The sleeping patterns of 5 individuals were made abundantly clear this season. Someone was up all the time, I think. Middle of the night trips to the kitchen or bathroom usually involved running into someone else who was either already up, getting up or going back to bed. It made for hot topics of conversation over coffee the next morning. We survived.

Adaptability is a virtue, indeed. My children have been blessed with this. They arrived suitcases in tow, to spend the holidays with their mother and this man she married 5 years ago. The house was quickly transformed into a "girly" house complete with the smells of scented lotions and the giggles and guffaws of two young women enthused over no work or school for a few days. Both pointed out that they were "on holiday."

I like the sound of that. The girls get but a small amount of time off and I am so proud they chose to spend it here. I think I'm most pleased by the comfort level they express in their day to day actions... here in an old house we have made home.

There's a level of respect we all have for one another and for the tight quarters we share over Christmas. An eyebrow may occasionally be raised, looks may pass between one or two--but no harsh words or opinions. I think we all realize we are what we are and we've got what we've got. This is family. What are you going to do with family?

You bend for family. You maintain a certain level of discretion. You let things slide and look at the bigger picture.

But most of all you love them unconditionally.

Happy Christmas!

They're Back

Time to practice all those daily meditations... the holidays are here.

We've shopped and cleaned, wrapped gifts and cooked, and cleaned again. But are really ready? On the outside maybe, but not mentally where it counts. We've kept ourselves really busy so we wouldn't have to think how well families blend, or how well blended families blend.

Just remember your manners. They'll save you every time. Its seems there is very little grief for people with manners. It may be because folks with manners realize there is a different type of behavior more appropriate for use in public places. My Jessica pointed this out last night at dinner.

"Why are you pointing?" she said over and over to me and my other half. I never realized how much I pointed... or how much my other half pointed. My eldest explained that pointing is an aggressive gesture and actually is quite rude. My, My! I certainly hadn't anticipated rudeness or aggression in my hand gestures.

I guess I had better work on that.

I am the Moon

I am The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

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